Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.
— Oscar Wilde.
This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.
Reparing broken families.
This morning i found myself thinking about how our culture and society as a whole has changed.
Even Family is nolonger the ‘Family’ we used to know back in the 90s or early 2000s.
These days people nolonger hesitate to cut ties with family and especially when some members are toxic, they don’t think twice.
I have seen big Families that were once united and happy now broken and divided.
One little mistake made by a member is now enough to destroy a family.
Mother against daughter,
Father against son,
Brother against sister
Sisters against each other…I can go on and on.
Nobody has the energy to work on broken relationships.
One simple argument, and the whole pack will scatter.
I don’t know, but maybe the ones that used to hold the family together are long gone….The ones that knew the true value of family.
And all we have left is a bunch on selfish individuals.
Each man for himself…No one wants to lift another up.
Man is now an island…We can do without each other and we will only meet on funerals, if that’s even possible.
So much jealousy, and hatred amongst each other.
I know there is no such thing as perfect family but let things take a bad turn knowing that we at least tried to do something about it.
We at least tried to sit each other down to reach a consensus,
We at least did something, we at least prayed.
These days society has so many options I guess.
We are too quick to pick our own family from total strangers because we are too lazy to work on the not so perfect ones God gave us.
I know you might read this and say, ‘I am crazy and don’t understand how some families are hard to deal with’.
But it’s okay, I don’t know much but I know this, “You can’t give up on your family, nomatter how tempting they may make it.”
Let’s break the pattern of failed relationships
Have you ever stopped to think about why all of your past relationships never worked out.Why everytime they somehow ended in tears?
Honestly, you can’t tell me every single guy you met was a douchebag and you were just the unlucky one who always got to pick the bad eggs.
Every time you think of giving it a try with a guy who seems to interest you, the relationship usually takes a miracle to last three months, otherwise it always ends after only one or two dates or after they’ve had their way with you.
So what could be behind this pattern of failed relationships?
You may attribute your struggles to generational curses, or perhaps believe that God is leading you to encounter the wrong people before guiding you towards the right one.
I cannot confirm that but what I believe is that relationships are two way streets and whatever happens in a relationship between two people, whether good or bad shall be nobody else’s blame except for those two individuals because they are the force and they hold the ultimate power in that relationship.
Another thing I believe is that no one is really perfect and attaining perfection is an unattainable feat for everyone.We are all work in progress and nobody has everything figured out which makes it a mandate for you to focus on self development so that your partner will not have to go through the struggle of trying to mold an adult like you into the person you were supposed to be prior to their arrival into your life.
With that being said, if you have been noticing this pattern of failed relationships, it is high time you stop putting the blame on the devil and outside forces like those supposed bewitching aunties (not that I’m saying your thoughts are unfounded).Just shove that opinion at the back shelf meanwhile and try doing some self introspection.This time let it be about you and only you.
Ask yourself where you’ve been getting it wrong in your past relationships and this time you need to excuse the other party even though they might have contributed to the relationship failure.Do yourself a favor and start taking some serious accountability.
Have your communication game been top notch lately or you have been leaving some conversations hanging and dropping some subjects?
In what manner have you been conveying messages to her?
Have you consistently employed a gentle approach or have there been instances where you were deliberately harsh, probablyout of anger?
And madam, have you been raising your voice at him each time you got pissed, giving the silent treatment as punishment?
Well, only you know what’s been going on, but if you feel like your communication game needs to be polished, then it’s high time you start working on it because I know you want your next experience to be the best experience.
Alright, let’s assume you’ve been an ‘A’ student in this subject of communication and you always leave no stone unturned, making sure all issues are resolved once they are found…
Then this part is really not for you and I would like to applaud you for that.So maybe he/ she was on the wrong this time because he/she wasn’t open enough in the relationship which led to its collapse.
Nevertheless, let us address the issue of consistency…
Have you been keeping up with it? Be honest now because this is where most people slip up.
Have you been treating her the same way you did in your first days together or has the dynamic shifted over time?
Have you been calling to check on her during the day or showering her with gifts the way you used to when the relationship was still new or these days you just don’t seem to have the energy?
Consistency…
To my lady, have you been dressing up for him the way you used to on those first dates, looking all pretty and smelling delightfully pleasant?
Have you been the girl you made him believe you were?Polite, focused and humble or it was all pretence?
Honey, consistency is key and next time try to be stable and more committed in the relationship if you want to experience great change.
Last but not least, have you asked yourself what you are truly looking for in a partner and what you are looking to achieve before rushing to commit in a relationship?
If your main achievement is not marriage, then I honestly don’t know why you would want to commit in a relationship…Maybe it’s high time you need to start aligning your goals and priorities.
Perhaps in your past relationship you may have dated for fun and with no aim of furthering the relationship which might have resulted in its failure.
Have you been picking the partner who ticks all the boxes in your priority list or you have been compromising a lot and settling for way less?
Have you been letting looks alone deceive you, resulting in you ending with a handsome, charming hunk of a man who was also manipulative and abusive?
Or if you are a guy, have you been blinded by that hour glass body of hers that you ended up putting up with the disrespect and lies she came with?
Well, we sometimes make decisions that leads us into misery but it is a good thing to learn from those past mistakes and not repeat them.
To avoid unnecessary trouble, you may need to be with someone who knows your love language or at least someone who is willing to learn whilst you learn theirs.
Otherwise, relationships are meant to last for life as long as the builders are willing and able to put on the hard work that is required without unequally yoking each other.
Finally i would like to say that let us never stop loving, even when we get tired, let us never stop trying because I believe happiness lies in that four letter word…LOVE.
Going through a lot lately?
It was late night and as usual I was wide awake sobbing with my face buried inside my pillow trying by all means not to be heard.I’ve been going through some stuff that left me feeling very depressed.I haven’t been confiding in anyone and that even made me feel worse. Nothing was going to change. I was doing nothing about it and I just hated my life.
The reason I never talked about it with people is because I was afraid of judgement. I was so scared of being talked about behind my back and finding no solutions afterwards so I decided to just keep things to myself.
As I lay in bed hopeless, with a closed Bible next to my drawer, I began to wonder if God truly existed because I really was beginning to doubt.I had quit praying and going to church because I felt discouraged.I tried to get myself to sleep by listening to some music and that was when this song started playing. It was a gospel jam by a local artist called, “Ndinodurura Zvose” sang in my native language.
So this song, translated in English meant, “I pour everything that troubles my soul, I cast all my burdens to God. I find rest In Him my rock and place of refuge”
Well I had never heard of that song all my life, I don’t know what made me download it earlier on but I felt it was for a purpose. It was for such a time like this when I really needed to hear those words more than anything.
I knew the God I had long abandoned had come through for me. To talk to me and tell me to cast everything, even the things that felt so personal that I could not share with the rest of the world. He was telling me to tell it to Him, the only person who would listen without judgment. The only person who would listen without talking behind my back. For the first time in a while I really felt some peace and stability in my life. I wiped away my tears and smiled myself to sleep. Since last night, I know that my life will never be the same again.
Now as I am writing, for the first time in a while, I feel so revived. Indeed God has lifted the spirit of heaviness from me and replaced it with the garment of praise like he promised in Isaiah 61 verse 3:
King James Version (Isaiah 61:3)
3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.
I know for some reason you might be experiencing what I have been experiencing for the past months.You might be in so much pain, you might be going through so much that has robbed you of your joy.
Maybe it is not you but it’s someone that you know, a close friend, a family member or a neighbor. I may not know or understand it but what I know and understand is nobody deserves to be in such a miserable situation especially for a long time. Nobody deserves to feel like giving up on their life and their dreams.
Maybe in your case there seem to be no solution, maybe you are silently suffering from a chronic illness, you are terribly depressed and drained but I am alive to testify that there is somebody who is ever ready to listen.
He says in Psalms 55:2, “Cast your burden upon the Lord and he will sustain you”
He also assured in Matthew 11:28 to 30:
28
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
29
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Maybe you still doubt but he already made it clear even in the book of 1Peter 5 verse 7 to ‘cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you’
It’s not just a promise but it’s a command.
It never feels easy till you give it a try.
Your testimony awaits as long as you make up your mind to trust Him enough to pour it out to Him. To let him be the carrier of that heavy burden whilst he gives you a much lighter yoke.
He is waiting and He loves you more than you imagine!
©️ Jesse T Gambanga
I had to let you go
If keeping you means loosing me,
My happiness and my sanity,
If having you means letting go
Of all the things I ever had,
Then darling it’s so sad to say
Having you is the worst expense.
Breaking Free.
He can set you free…
21 So I have learned this rule: When I want to do good, evil is there with me. 22 In my mind I am happy with God’s law. 23 But I see another law working in my body. That law makes war against the law that my mind accepts. That other law working in my body is the law of sin, and that law makes me its prisoner. 24 What a miserable person I am! Who will save me from this body that brings me death? 25 I thank God for his salvation through Jesus Christ our Lord! So in my mind I am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful self I am a slave to the law of sin.
Romans 7:21-25
Anybody can testify how difficult it is to break free from some undesirable habit.The process can be so hard that it can actually cause some trauma if not handled properly.It is sad that a lot of people have struggled to deal with certain habits up to a point where they just gave up, embraced them and learnt to live with them even though they knew how slowly those toxic habits were destroying them.
I know of a christian girl who struggled all her teenage life trying to break free from mustarbation.She would promise herself not to do it because she always felt bad about herself each time she masturbated and she would feel so guilty that it would be difficult for her to pray.She desperately wanted to be set free because she knew in her mind that mustarbation was not just a bad habit but a sin which separated her from God.However, she always seemed to fall each and everytime.She reached a point where she would even watch porn just to make sure that she mustarbated and sometimes she would read dirty romance novels just to satisfy her bad habit.Ofcourse she always felt sad afterwards and would beat her chest up for falling over and over again.What made it more difficult was that she had noone to talk to about that issue because she felt embarrassed to talk about it.Believe me, she lived a miserable teenage life whilst nursing her secret toxic habit and believe me when I confess that the girl i am writing about was me.Yes you read that right.
Are you nurturing a bad habit?Have you been so much trapped by sin lately that it’s been difficult to breakfree?Has your body been a prisoner of sin all this while?
I don’t know what situation you are facing right now and I have no idea how you ended up there but what I am certain about is that you can break free.Yes you can because there is somebody who can deal with that which you have been struggling to dreal with all this time.He can come through for you and set you free.He has done it for others before and there is nothing that is too hard for Him.
Maybe you always find yourself in a dilemma whether to do right or wrong.In your mind you know that you must choose right but your body is such a slave of sin that it wants you to do wrong and because you are human you end up pleasing your body?
Maybe you are so tied to your past that you are struggling to let go.
They hurt you so much that you find it difficult to make the choice to forgive even though deep down you know it’s the right thing to do.
We all long for freedom be it from past hurts, acrimony, anger, toxic habits or addictions.
At times we just imagine how perfect and lovely life would be if and only if we were set free.
If you are one such person reading this today, I want you to know that this freedom I am writing about cannot only be longed for because it truly exists and can be found in God through Jesu.s Christ who came to set the captives free (Isaiah 61:1)
©️ Jesse T Gambanga
DAMAGED PEOPLE
Written by:Jesse T Gambanga
One of my blog readers commented on my recent blog post, “Whilst you Heal”.She wrote quite a touching message saying, “The healing process is hard because we are living in a world full of hate and some people are out there to question other people’s worth.When you think you are about to heal, you are reminded of the gabbage.”
This morning as I was thinking so deep about the world, I could find no other words to describe it but only to be convinced that it is full of damaged people.
Yes we live in a world full of damaged people.
Everybody seems to be fighting their own battle.No matter where you come from, your age or race, you somehow have been through situations that might have drained you physically, mentally or emotionally.You might have managed to deal with such situations in a better way which resulted in you not left broken or damaged but others have failed, mostly because they could not handle it.
A damaged person could be your friend, family member, neighbor or yourself.
Many people are broken, wounded and bleeding.That is why suicide cases are constantly rising, families are divided and many resort to drugging…to kill pain, just for a while.
Have you ever seen damaged people? How they react to situations?
Have you ever had a conversation with a broken soul?
Well if you have or if you haven’t, here is what you might get from damaged people:
#1)They always have something negative to say.
In my article, “Whilst you heal”, I mentioned that those that are healing tend to suffer from negative comments from other people.I mentioned how I used to get teased because of my acne prone skin and how people would call me all sorts of names like “Sand paper face”.
Do you know that when a person is damaged, he/she will be carrying nothing but negative energy which he/she ends up sharing to others.It is true that you give out what’s inside you, be it good or bad.If you are a joyful and positive minded person, we see it by the positive vibe you carry and share with the world.But if you are damaged, bruised and broken, it’s like you struggle to see the good things about you which then becomes difficult for you to see anything good out of others
You end up cursing instead of blessing and criticizing instead of praising.
#2)They pretend.
When I was young I used to think that adults are perfect and always right.I used to think that they never make mistakes and they are strong.
But as I grew to become an adult, reality struck and i came to believe that no one is perfect because if we were, there would be no damaged people around.
One thing you should know about damaged people is that they are good at pretending.
Do you know that a damaged person might be your pastor, your mentor or someone you admire the most.
Leaders will never show their weakness to those who follow or look up to them lest they portray a negative message to them.
That is why your pastor cannot afford to stand in front of the congregation and admit that he is one damaged soul also searching for some healing.
So the next time you walk past that granny who always smiles or that counselor who lives nextdoor, don’t be too quick to judge because some people would rather ‘wear a mask’ than expose themselves to the world.
#3)Damaged people have been through a lot.
Back in high school there was this girl I knew.She was intelligent and pretty but there was something about her which made her dangerous and unapproachable- her temper.Because of privacy reasons I cannot mention her real name so l have decided to name her Stella.So Stella had such a short temper that she would rant at any minor issue.She was so wild and hyper sensitive that nobody wanted to be friends with her.I used to be afraid of her and tried by all means not to cross her path.However, this other day she came to me just to have a normal talk but as we chatted she somehow became comfortable enough that she ended up telling me a lot of stuff about herself and how she was raised.Stella was raised by guardians who never took good care of her.She was Physically, sexually and emotionally abused from a very young age and the many scars that she had all over her body were a product of the ruthless beatings she always got from her aunt and uncle.My heart bled as I listened to her story and all I saw from that day was a damaged young lady instead of a wierd, mean and hot tempered girl.
You see, a lot of damaged people have really sad stories to tell.No one is created damaged but bad things happen along the road which can be really hurtful,unbearable and damaging.It might be loss of loved ones, bullying, abuse or poor upbringing.There are so many things that can damage an individual depending on their mindset and how they handle situations.
Surprisingly, some people have been through a lot of bad stuff which might have possibly destroyed or damaged them but they still remain strong whereas others are so fragile that it is really difficult for them to stay firm and unshaken whilst dealing with grave situations.
It takes a great deal of love and patience when dealing with damaged people who have pasts that still haunt them.
4) Super sensetive and have mood swings.
Most times, when dealing with damaged people you will realize how super sensetive they can be and how they suddenly change moods.
One minute they are very happy and the next they are irritated and worked up.It’s so difficult to understand them, because you are not sure exactly if your next move is gonna infuriate them or make them smile.Its just like walking on thin ice where you are not sure if your next step is gonna break it therefore dealing with such people requires extra love and care.
5)Low self esteem
Remember damaged people have been through a lot that they somehow feel broken.That brokenness is what leads to low self esteem.Feeling like they are inadequate, unlovable and unacceptable.
Damaged people find it difficult to love themselves.They nolonger have that confidence to look into the mirror with a smile.They feel they are too broken to be fixed and too flawed to be transformed.
I think that is the reason why they tend to underperform because they nolonger have confidence in themselves.They do not believe they can do somethings better, achieve more and be outstanding.
I can go on and on describing traits that can be found on damaged people but what the world needs to know is that damaged people are everywhere, they were once normal people who were changed by circumstances.They are victims and they need love.Damaged people can be mended again.It might be you who is reading this article or someone you know.
Do not be on the lookout for damaged people to dispise them but be on the look out for damaged people to show them love and remind them of their true value.
Don’t Reach That Point!
Don’t reach a point where you nolonger feel the Pain when your heart breaks.
And the smile on your face becomes nothing more than sheer display.
Don’t reach a point where all you can give is hurt,
Coz love has become so scarce that “it only visits on your birthday night.”
Don’t reach a point where you suddenly feel no remorse,
And all that used to matter nolonger matters.
Cause then and only then, will you know that something within has died
And you have become just another living dead.
~Jesse T Gambanga
You can be Happy Again (Part 1)
We are living in a world full of bitter people.You see them smiling yet they are hurting deep inside.They are bruised and somewhat broken.
At some point we were happy and when that happiness went away only then did did we come to realize it’s true value.We then seriously longed for it.
We asked ourselves where did that happiness we once had go?When did it happen and how did it happen?
I remember when I was a child I used to be really happy and somehow carefree.Most of the memories, I cannot recall but all I know is I was so happy and that kind of happiness faded as I grew and there was a point in time I wondered how it all happened.
I’m sure most people can relate with my situation and still long for that kind of happiness.
Do you want to be happy again?
Well I bet you do and here are some steps you can take if you want that happiness you once had to be restored.Been taking them lately and I have realized I have become a completely changed person.My life is slowly being transformed for the better and I am really happy.
What you should know…
Happiness is something which is neither attained by money or riches.Even the rich and most successful people are still searching for happiness.Yes you can buy comfort with money and even attain great power with it but never happiness.
The 1st step you would want to take if you want to restore your happiness is:
1)To love yourself
Some people are against the idea of loving themselves because they think it’s centered on selfishness.To me loving yourself means appreciating who you are and knowing your self worth.Self love means you are fully aware of things you cannot change about yourself and accepting them and also realizing what you can change about yourself and doing all you can to change it.When you love yourself you treat yourself better.You respect yourself, appreciate yourself and protect yourself.Once you master the art of loving yourself, your life will never be the same again!
2)Being content
Did you know that the reason why most people are unhappy today is because they lack contentment.They look at the few things they have and resort to complaining.Have you ever asked yourself how better a person you would be if you gave up complaining and appreciated the gifts God gave to you?
I used to be a great complainer, was never satisfied at all and always longed to have more but I realized later on that there are a lot of people out there who do not even have half of the things I have yet they never complain.They are content and yes they are happy.Well you might not understand it now but once you learn to be satisfied with what you have you will have no reason to be sad and complain about that which you do not have.Count your blessings and learn to appreciate them. Contentment is a pathway to happiness.
I end here today, and I assure you that these two steps above are baby steps you can choose to take each day to work on restoring your happiness.
Next week I will be sharing with you other steps to take if you are serious about restoring your happiness.Don’t forget to follow my blog so that I can keep you posted.
Are you ready for a comeback?
Written by Jesse T Gambanga
Susan’s Story
That Sunday morning, Susan felt the anxiety within her build up again.This time her hands trembled so much that she couldn’t hold the lipstick still.She was worried.She thought of how large a congregation would be and of cause, the thousand stares she was gonna get the moment she stepped right into the Parish.
Everyone knew her, from the pastor, church elders and the Sunday school kids she used to teach.She knew that everyone would surely talk about her.She felt ashamed.Two years back she wasn’t the woman she had became.She was the dedicated church girl who used to sing in choir and teach kids about Jesus.She wished to turn back the hands of time and correct shameful mistakes she had made especially that of having an affair with Mr Mbeva, the church deacon.
It happened 2 years ago and she never again went to church.Only now, after having a talk with the youth advisor from church did she feel the need to go back again.She had repented and she felt ready.However that morning as she prepared, she suddenly felt discouraged.She knew for a fact that she was never gonna get any warm welcome.A lot of people in the community were already regarding her as a shameless prostitute especially the women from church.At that thought she couldn’t help but weep as she took off her dress and shoes.“Maybe next time when I am really ready,”She whispered to the woman in the mirror.
ARE YOU READY FOR A COMEBACK?
We all at some point have fallen.We have done shameful terrible things some only known by God.No one is perfect.The word of God even says,
“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us” 1John 1:8 NKJV
However, that doesn’t mean we are nolonger worthy to go back before God, beg for mercy and be forgiven.
The reason why the church today keeps losing souls is because not everyone would want to go back and face the judgement of fellow believers.
It is the other believers who are constantly discouraging others to come back to Christ even after they have repented.
Jesus as our shepherd is always ready to recieve that one lost sheep but it seems very impossible now because of the opinions of the other ninety-nine!
People fear judgement thus they feel unwelcome at church after they have made mistakes.No one wants to associate with them anymore and they are constantly reminded of their past mistakes.
There is this song by a Zimbabwean Gospel artist, Matheas Mhere which says, “Zvivi zvawakatadza kare kare vanongotaura nezvazvo.Mwari vakakuregerera kare kare asi vanongotaura nezvazvo” meaning, They keep talking about your past sins even though God already forgave you of them”
But what happened to love?What happened to forgiveness?What did Christ teach about forgiveness?
I have a lot of questions because my heart bleeds each time I see someone who used to be a dedicated believer but somehow fell along the road, failing to come back again.
Many people feel the need to come back to God but because of the church they really get discouraged.
I know many who have been there before.Its so hard to go back to church when you know all you will get is mockery and finger pointing.
If you are reading this article and deep down feel you are ready for a comeback then I thank God because I feel God is talking to you.
He says come back my son.Come back my daughter.It doesn’t matter what the ninety-nine are going to say about you.
Yes they will judge you and yes they will look at you and still see the old person but it is the Lord who looks not at the past.All He needs is the broken you to be fixed.He need your heart for he looks not at what’s outside but what’s inside.He loves you and He wants you back!
Are you ready for a comeback?
I bet you are because now is the time to go back to God.Please don’t say“ Maybe next time”.Don’t wait for tommorow because tommorow might be too late.
God loves you and so do I.
BadassWoman👑💄
Whilst you heal…(Based on a true lifestory)
Written by Jesse T Gambanga
Ever suffered from Acne?Or do you know someone who has or is suffering from it?
Well I am one of those people who had to deal with it right from an early age.I remember in my early teen years up until my late teens, I would suffer greatly from continual acne breakouts.
I cannot lie, it was really a bad experience especially learning at a boarding school where I would often get teased for having skin which looked like sand paper.Yeah I would get such mean comments and more.
Now you can imagine how it lowered my self esteem as a young girl.I felt really ugly and I never was confident in my own skin till I reached a point where I had to hide my acne in foundation and face powder which was forbidden and a breach of school rules.
Now recently, very recent, I suddenly had a terrifying acne breakout.After finally experiencing a clean, clear comfortable skin which I thought would forever remain I found myself again trapped in a situation I thought i was over and done with.
I began to picture myself, the old girl in school uniform with acne infested skin and I became really scared.I was so scared that I wanted to get rid of that sudden acne as fast as I could.I did some research and was ready to spend any amount just to get back my clear skin back.I tried some natural remedies and OTC medications but to no avail.I was barely three days with the acne but I was already getting impatient.
Truth is I haven’t fully dealt with the situation, I am still healing.Although I am experiencing a bad and stressful situation, I have learnt a lot from it which is why I am writing this article.
lesson # 1:
Be patient as you heal.
It is really difficult to calm down when trying to heal, I am not just talking about acne condition this time but any condition.Whether trying to heal a broken heart, depression or any other illness you may think of.The truth is healing is a process and it requires some form of patience.The more you understand this, the more you allow yourself to quickly recover.Not every heartbreak can heal in a day, some times it takes time so don’t force yourself to be okay when you still need time.Same goes with mental illness and the acne I just mentioned.Experience has taught me that if you are not patient with acne, you will end up popping the pimples which may result in permanent scars!Be patient as you heal sweetie.I know it can be hard but you simply have to try.
Lesson #2
Healing Hurts.
It’s not only in accidents where the healing process is considered hurtful.Almost in every form of healing will one experience some pain.As an acne warrior, I admit that there were times when I could breakdown and cry, just at the thought of how bad my skin appeared.At times I would be hurt physically after roughly scrubbing my face and using other products which were too harsh for my skin thus ending up with a pilled and damaged skin.Sometimes the pain of healing is unavoidable and at times its us who trigger it.Do not hurt yourself as you heal by lacking some discipline and self control.Some people who suffer from depression tend to Intentionally hurt themselves by cutting themselves with sharp objects or attempting suicide.No matter how hard the process can be, hold on and hold out, it will soon be over so never hurt yourself Intentionally.
Lesson #3
Be positive whilst you heal.
If only people knew how directly linked their mindset is to their healing, i bet they would learn to develop a much positive mindset.You cannot expect positive results whilst you are being pessimistic.Be positive always especially when it comes to your healing.Encourage yourself and do not give room for stress.Stop overthinking no matter how bad the situation might be.I am generally an over thinker, ofcause somethingwhich I’m not proud of and I am here to testify how much I have knowingly slowed down my own recovery process due to overthinking and inhabiting negative thoughts.I am also learning to be positive especially when it concerns my healing that’s why I am also encouraging you to do so too!
Lesson #4
Others are healing too!
Remember you are not alone in this.There are a lot of people who are going through what you are going through.You might even be stronger…Infact the fact that you have managed to read this article shows that you are much more stronger and you need to help others heal too.People take the healing process differently.Others are too weak to handle it thus they need some form of support. I wouldn’t encourage you to be that person who is always tearing other people down.Do not laugh at those who are suffering.Do not be mean or start calling them names.Pray for them if that’s all you can do.Help them realize their true value and that they are loved irregardless of their flaws.
Maybe my words alone might make no sense, thus I decided to quote some inspiring ones from men and women of magnitude below:
“Give everyone whose life you touch a sense of their own worthiness as a person, a sense of the true wonder of who they are. Give this gift and you will heal the world.” ~ Neale Donald Walsch
“Heal the world! Stop the hate. Lend a helping hand to those in need.” ~Michael Jackson
“The way you help heal the world is you start with your own family.” ~ Mother Teresa
“Change, like healing, takes time.”~Veronica Roth
Death
I still tremble at your ceaseless sound.
I can’t grow numb to your constant sting.
So please don’t come knocking at my door;
Cause each time you do, I will still say, “Not Today”
BLUNDER UNDER THE SUN
I woke up one morning
In a world that left me in so much wonder
The sun rose from the North and set in the South
Even birds of the air galloped while horses flew
It was a world of hot raindrops and scarlet red skies
A world where slaves ruled and Emperors served
Men concieved babes while Women laboured in fields
Young girls were the solicitors; wooing virgin boys to marriage
I watched in awe for i had never seen such blunder under the sun
Then the serpent whispered in my ear that the tables have turned
~Jesse T Gambanga
Defer no time…
This morning I just woke up feeling tired and lazy.I didn’t even have the energy to write yet I have vowed to myself that every Thursday I should make sure I write something that can change people’s lives.I even told myself to just skip this Thursday and write next time, after all no one was gonna ask me but i felt so guilty that I just grabbed my laptop and sat on my desk for a long time trying to figure out what to write.
How many times have you felt lazy to do something you have promised yourself to do?
How many times have you even procrastinated to do something important and ended up not doing it anyway?
Well I have done that a number of times and always regretted in the end.
So today even though I didn’t feel like writing I ended up writing and I am so proud of myself.
There are days when i wake up feeling like not doing anything at all.
There are days when i just want to relax and procrastinate a little bit and there are days when i don’t feel no need to carry on.
We all at certain points experience those times but those are the times you gotta brace yourself and tell yourself you are strong enough to carry on.
As long as you are lazy and keep procrastinating, it will take time for you to accomplish your goals and at times you won’t even accomplish them.
Keep going even when you don’t find the energy to do so because in life there is no such thing as a smooth mountain.
If you ask many successful people, they will tell you that if was not easy for them to reach where they are right now.It took them sweat, perseverance and guts.
Each time you set a goal make sure that it’s reachable and do all you can to accomplish it.
Some days you won’t find the energy but you will have to keep moving instead of procrastinating.
What have you been procrastinating on doing lately?
Is it that novel you have always wanted to finish writing?
Is it attending some driving classes or visiting your dentist?
Whatever it is, you gotta start doing it now.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
It is high time you stop procrastinating.It is time to get up and do the work.
Defer no time!
When the going gets tough…
That weekend we had fasted and prayed seriously for my aunt.She was sick and had been admitted at the hospital so we had committed ourselves to prayer and fasting.I remember few days before her death we even went to the prayer mountain where we spent the whole night praying for her recovery.I was really positive that she would get better after all the prayers.All my hopes were raised.It did not take a week before we received news of her death.
You can imagine the disappointment!
That was the time when I began to wonder if God ever existed.If He really had mercy.At that time my question was, “Where was He when my aunty was left to die after we had prayed and trusted upon Him for her recovery?”I was discouraged.
Have you ever fasted and prayed for a situation to changed but instead you get negative results?
Have you prayed for a sick person and then that person dies in the end?
Have you prayed for a job promotion only to get fired afterwards?
Well many at times we pray.We even fast and do all we can in anticipation of positive results only to be disappointed in the end.
I was young when my aunt passed on.I was just 12 and that incident really moved me.But as I grew up, I began to realize why God sometimes allows bad things to happen even after we have prayed for them not to happen.
Remember what happened to Moses and the Israelites?
God had spoken to Moses, promised him Cannan and all the good things to come.All Moses had to do was to talk Pharaoh into agreeing to let God’s people Go.Moses had high hopes and thought the whole process was gonna be easy but then what happened?
Pharoah’s heart was hardened and he decided to make the lives of the Israelites hard.This one thing he did, He withdrew their straw and made them fulfill their daily tasks as when there was straw!
(Exodus 5:6-13)
Life became so unbearable for the children of Israel.They were greatly disappointed in Moses and Moses was disappointed in God.But little did they know that their victory was near.All they had to do was trust their God even when it was hard.
There is a common saying which goes by; “It’s always darkest just before dawn” , and that is true!
Things always seem to get worse just before they improve.
As a child of God always remember that the harder things become, the nearer you are to your victory.All you have to do is to hold on and hold out.When the going gets tough, the tough should get going.Never be shaken!
Psalms 125:1
“They that trust in the Lord shall be as mount Zion which cannot be removed, but abideth forever.”
The ‘pruning process’
By:Jesse T Gambanga
Yesterday was me having some vigil prayers with my aunt.We do them every night but last night felt so different in that she mentioned something I wasn’t aware of since my Christian walk.She told me of how it was important for me to allow God to do some “Pruning Process ”in my life.
At first I didn’t understand what the “Pruning process” was all about and I really wanted to know.
So she mentioned that the pruning process was a transformational process in which I had to allow my creator to have His way in me, removing all toxic things that inhibits my growth.It was a catalyst for my growth!She also told me that it was not an easy process and was going to probably involve some heartbreaking experience, disappointments and frustrations but it was really worth it.
Then I was like, Wait…I am not ready for the pruning process, I mean I wasn’t gonna be ready to take the risk of experiencing pain.I have had enough heartbreaks, I have cried enough tears and I have faced enough discomfort!
Then she simply smiled and said, “Then you are not ready for transformation Jey”
So I still prayed to God, told Him of how much I was afraid of the pruning process despite me wanting to grow.I asked Him if He could find a way of making me skip such a hard process but still transform my life but as I said that silent prayer, a scripture I used to recite when I was a little girl came to mind…
John 15 vs 1-2
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.”
For the first time in my life I began to slowly understand what the scripture meant and I am glad it came to mind at the right time.
God loves His children and whatever He does, whether it might appear tough, He does it out of love.
There are certain areas in your life where you need growth and transformation just like a tree.
No tree can grow well unless it is pruned.
To prune, according to Collins Dictionary is to remove dead or living parts from (a plant) so as to increase fruit or flower production or improve the form
The practice entails targeted removal of diseased, damaged, dead, non-productive, structurally unsound, or otherwise unwanted tissue from crop and landscape plants.
Although the process can be harsh, it is for the good of the plant so that it sprouts and bears more fruit.
Same applies to you.
Pruning is not a punishment! It is somehow a reward.
If you allow God to prune you, it means you must be willing to lose a part of you.
Bad habits, toxic people, negative thoughts, unhealthy relationships are all part of the things we inhabit in our lives which, as long as we carry, will not foster any growth in us!
At times we may be reluctant to lose that part and that reluctance alone is the reason why the pruning process can be so hurtful.
But one thing I love about the pruning process is that it will always leave us stronger.The process may seem harmful but it is preparing us for a much desired transformation.
It’s hard to let go of toxic people even though all they bring is negative energy and bad vibes.Dettachment is never easy but you have to be willing if you desire change
So as I am writing this this message, i have decided to allow God to do the pruning process in my life.I need Him to touch every area of my life which requires growth, be it my spirituality,my personal relationships or my character…I am ready.
Though it might hurt a lot, I am certain now that it will come to pass and it is all for my good, for the word of God says in Romans 8:28 (KJV):
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
Why should you forgive?
By ~Jesse T Gambanga
It’s been a month of sleepless nights and resentment. I was so bitter.He wronged me.I hated him and he wasn’t even sorry.When I saw him last week, he was in good spirits.He looked so happy and carefree.I was hurt and I told myself i shouldn’t forgive him_Not until he comes and apologizes for all the pain he caused.
But you know I’m so surprised that last night I became totally a changed person.My attitude suddenly changed and I am no longer angry.I have forgiven him and I am no longer bitter.Funny thing about that is I chose to forgive him even though he never came back to apologize and even though he doesn’t seem to care at all.
Why did I forgive?Why should you forgive?Why must we all forgive?…A million dollar question.
So last night before I went to bed I was re reading my old journal and that was when I came across a powerful and life changing quote; “TO FORGIVE IS TO SET A PRISONER FREE AND REALIZING THAT PRISONER WAS YOU!”
That really opened my eyes and I began to see the whole matter on another positive light.I wasn’t free and I had to set myself free and there was no other way out except to forgive.So I did!I wholeheartedly forgave.
Are you in the same situation as I was before?Are you resentful, angry and bitter because of what they did to you.
Do you feel it’s not right for you to forgive them because they don’t deserve it.
Well it’s normal to feel that way but that doesn’t make it right.
You should forgive and Why should you?
Well, when you forgive someone it’s not just that person you will be setting free but yourself too.
At first I never was willing to forgive him because I felt I was doing him a favor but I realized how free I became after I chose to forgive him.I nolonger have the sleepless nights and I nolonger cry everytime I see him or think of him.I feel stronger and more mature because i did something i never thought i would do and something noble.
It’s alright if they do not come to apologize.
It’s alright if they feel they never did you wrong, well that’s their own opinion because they never felt the way you felt.It hurts I know but they are happy right now and they think they never did you wrong so what’s the point of you staying all bitter for such kind of people?Set yourself free.Forgive them.
Whoever it is that wronged you must be forgiven. Don’t just do it for them but for you too!
Forgive so you don’t end up a changed person.
Do not let the good in you die and get replaced by Savagery, Vendetta and bitterness just because you kept holding on to the past hurt and pain.You gotta let go before you give room for wickedness to rule your life.
I have seen a lot of people who have had their hearts broken and failed to forgive and that alone turned them into heartless people, breaking other people’s hearts without remorse.
Let love lead.
Forgive because you should, not just for them but for you!
The world as i see it
Theworld itself is broken
The people within are broken
Corruption, violence always spoken
Truth, intergrity have been forgotten
Honesty and love nolonger begotten
Intense hatred their places has taken
Who can mend the hearts broken?
When misery everywhere is spoken
Can’t find any possible way
Or any pivotal role to play
In putting an end to this one day
The people are dying anyway
Women abused in every way
With money girls being carried away
Of all medicines abortion pills outweigh
Who cares youths being led astray?
Dead bodies all overlaying
Children missing parents crying
Nothing free all things for buying
Youngsters brought up terribly lying
All about the hastle time keeps flying
Minds Corrupted but they watch smiling
Into the fiery fire, out of the pan frying
Is the end of the heroes who die trying
To put an end to this evil scandal hurting
Should there be hope for love or never?
Will the future generations live or never?
Will this pain and suffering last forever?
Who knows but only the most high creator
Not alone the wise will survive but also the clever
In a world where mortal trust has begin to waver
Kneel down and pray to the only lifesaver
To unite the world so the people stay together.
~JEY
SheWritesIt 